I believe in God. I attended church from an early age. I am a Christian. I believe the following passage:
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.
John 3:16-18
Faith for me was more than a religious value system or moral tradition, it was an intimate and personal relationship with God, the creator of the universe and others. Because I believe in an omnipotent God, I believe that anything is possible. I believe that God is Jehovah rapha, the God who heals.
Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—
David, Psalm 103:2-5
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Sometimes it feels like God doesn’t hear our prayers. I remember praying. Some prayers are answered and others weren’t. Former basketball coach John Wooden told his players, “God hears all of our prayers and answers them—but sometimes the answer is no.”
God answered my mothers prayers when it seemed like nothing was helping her mental disorder. He seemed like he answered mine, but I was still left with unresolved issues in my heart that manifested in ways that subconsciously prevented me from living life to the fullest. I believe that God has the power to do anything. Sometimes I believe that we go through a process and journey so we can help others and show God’s love through our actions. I believe that’s why there’s doctors and health coaches that help people with their people’s health. There are people who provide aid to those in need. A lot of people suffer, and we are called to love and serve. We are the “body” of Christ.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
Jesus to His disciples, John 13:34-35
I discontinued treatment for bipolar disorder in 2007. I thought everything was fine, but my bouts with mental disorders and emotional pain did not stop there. Two years later, I found myself seeking solutions. I found myself caught up in the busy-ness of life and work, that I felt distant from God. Ignoring issues that I never dealt with caught up to me. During that time I stopped talk therapy sessions. I didn’t go back out of fear and shame. I attended a seminar that help me recognize that I may have unresolved issues. They offered a new age solution that conflicted with my theological beliefs so instead I sought solutions in churches that aligned with my values and belief system.
I was determined to learn. I felt like God was leading me on this path. I prayed about it. I shared some of my issues with a pastor of a church I was attending. To my surprise, he suggested that I attend a different church and that it may have the answers I was looking for. He also had a journey where he had to find some answers after two of his children passed away after child birth. His words gave me permission to keep searching and that we the church are one body of Christ even though there are different branches and denominations.
When I was searching for answers, I wanted to understand Christianity more and the different facets of Christianity and make sure that my actions did not contradict the Bible. I wanted to make sure I was being obedient to God. The “body of Christ” is interdenominational. The “body of Christ” is made up of “everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord.” (Acts 2:21)
So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Paul in a Letter to the Church in Ephesus, Ephesians 4:11-13
I wanted to learn. I attended different churches to see the different ways they worked and how they interpreted the Bible and how I could apply that knowledge and find the answers I was looking for.
At times it seems like it’s easy to get lost in the rabbit hole of fringe beliefs and easy to point out differences between denominations, but what brought me back was the love of Jesus Christ and sola sciptura, the belief that the Bible is a source of authority to my faith.
I didn’t have this chart back then, but today I share this chart of Christian mainline denomination and it’s branches to illustrate that all Christian denominations have a common root, the Gospel or the Good News of Jesus Christ, and eventually Christian religious texts which became what we now know as the New Testament of the Bible.
On this journey, there were times where I felt closer to God, and there were times I felt more confused and lost in despair. I kept my faith and hope. I continued to pray and I continued to seek him.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Jesus, Matthew 7:7-8
What started as a search for solutions to alleviate my pain and find healing ended up being a quest to get closer to God. It built up my faith. I found healing. While others experienced instantaneous miracles, for me it was a process with miracles along the way. There were times where I felt off track, but God was there every step of the way.
We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer. People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives. Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.
Solomon, Proverbs 16:1-3
The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.
David, Psalm 3:23-24
At the time, I thought that my journey was only for me and I didn’t think people would care to learn of my journey. A lot of people ask how I experienced healing in my life. I’ve done a lot of things, but this part of the journey is the most important part of my healing. My healing came in a way I didn’t expect.
I thought I’d find some special way to pray or instructions and guidance to harness spiritual gifts to heal. I really made it more complicated than it should be. If I took my eyes of myself for a moment and focus on God, then things started to make sense. As I progressed in my journey, my appreciation and love for God grew.
I hope my story helps those that experience a similar journey. Everyone’s journey is different. My journey continues in my next post.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nutritionist, or registered dietician. I do not claim to help cure any condition or disease. I do not provide medical aid or nutrition advise for the purpose of health or disease.
The information I provide is based on my personal experience and is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for medical treatment by a health care professional. Information provided here does not take the place of professional medical advice.
The products and claims made about specific products and services on or through this site have not been evaluated by the United States Food and Drug Administration and are not approved to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent disease.
-Holan
